Complete Fixed: The Complete Fixed Series: Books 1-5 Read online

  “You’ll have opportunities to rectify that.”

  And then thoughts of rectifying that raced through my mind, touching Hudson’s naked body, his shaft in my hands…

  My sex felt swollen and needy. Again.

  Damn. Not what I needed at the moment. I had to get my head in the game. Which would be easier without the object of my desire standing next to me, his arm brushing at my shoulder. “Just after all your talk about not being my boss and all that, I didn’t think you’d show.”

  “David may want advice. I should be there.” He peered down at me. “Also, I’m curious. Is that going to bother you?”

  “I wasn’t prepared. That’s all.”

  His eyes lit with understanding. “You’re nervous.”

  “Yes.”

  He shifted behind me, wrapping me into his arms. “Don’t be. You’re perfect. You’ll be perfect.”

  I sunk into him. That’s what I’d needed—his touch after such an intimate act. I’d felt bereft and exposed. I needed reassurance, not just about the business presentation I was about to give, but about his feelings, or attraction, or whatever it was he had for me.

  As we descended, I turned my thoughts to David and the presentation I was about to give. Oh, god, David. A new horror struck me. “Could we…?” I didn’t know how to ask what I wanted to ask. “Do we have to, um, do the pretend thing today?”

  “You don’t want David to give you extra points because he thinks you’re dating his boss.”

  “Right.” And since I still might marry David one day, my sham with Hudson required delicacy. Though the idea of marrying David sounded less appealing than it once had.

  “We can keep it under wraps for a day or two, if you’d rather.”

  “Thanks.” Anxiety crept into my belly as I wondered how I planned to balance the men in my life and all the facets of my relationships with them: the fake romance with Hudson, the wannabe future with David, the severing of dependence on Brian, the real sex with Hudson, the possible promotion from David. I shivered and pulled Hudson’s arms tighter around me.

  He misread my anxiety. “You know what they say to do about nervousness,” he whispered in my ear. ”Imagine your audience naked.”

  I raised my brows. “You and David?”

  “No, precious. Just me. That’s an order.”

  Hudson’s commanding tone sent a trickle of desire to pool between my thighs. Somehow I didn’t think picturing him naked would be any help.

  Jordan waited for us on the street in front of the building in a black Maybach 57. I’d never been in a luxury car and my natural reaction would have been to gush and salivate, but I held in my enthusiasm, trying to appear more unaffected than I actually was. I did recline my seat, taking advantage of the footrest, while Hudson attended to some work issues. He typed away on his Blackberry and made several phone calls.

  I should have been focusing on my presentation, but listening to him conduct business fascinated me, his commanding tone and demand for respect radiated so naturally in even the simplest directives. Usually when he spoke like that to me, I felt shaken and off-balance. But when I witnessed him speaking that way to others, or perhaps because of what had transpired between us, I felt empowered. As if I could embody those qualities myself through osmosis.

  We arrived at the club five minutes before the scheduled meeting. Hudson stayed in the car for a while, allowing me to go in first instead of together. In the office, I found David setting up my laptop.

  “Hey,” he said in greeting. “Are you ready to show off those brilliant brains of yours?”

  I wondered if David knew about Hudson’s plan to attend or not. Either way, I didn’t want him to know I knew. “Should I start?”

  “No, Pierce said he might come. You should give him a few minutes.”

  Hudson walked in seconds later. “David,” he said, shaking his hand. “Alayna.” He nodded at me, and I wondered if this was out of consideration to me, knowing that his touch drove me beyond distraction. Or did touching me do the same thing to him? I couldn’t imagine that could be true—he compartmentalized so naturally, I had to think his thoughts were sincerely only on the moment at hand.

  Beginning my presentation of ideas took the most effort, but with my PowerPoint slides to rely on, I easily fell into the zone, soon forgetting my audience. First, I focused on the operational aspects of The Sky Launch, items that threatened our competitiveness with other clubs, suggesting an increase in hours and days we were open, a retraining of key personnel, and a unified mode of operation between bartenders and wait staff. Then I moved to marketing recommendations, emphasizing a total rebranding with a spotlight on the bubble rooms.

  I spoke for nearly an hour and a half. Sometimes David asked questions, and I answered confidently and succinctly. I knew The Sky Launch. I knew business. I knew what would make the club a rockin’ place. I felt good.

  Except for occasionally asking for clarification, Hudson remained quiet and attentive. When I finished, I looked to him, hoping for feedback or praise or a reaction of some sort.

  Instead, he looked at his watch. “David, I have some place I need to be now. You can call me tomorrow if you want to discuss these ideas.”

  The endorphins of presentation performance weren’t enough to shelter me from the defeat of Hudson’s lack of acknowledgement. Had I completely sucked shit? Did smart girls turn him off? And where did he have to be at eight o’clock on a Thursday night?

  Whatever. If Hudson didn’t like it, then tough. He wasn’t my boss, as he’d so vehemently pointed out. I didn’t need his stupid validation. I’d been top of my class. I knew my stuff. I put my laptop away, fury leaking into my brisk movements.

  “Thanks,” David said.

  “Great. Alayna?”

  “What?” I may have snapped.

  Hudson waited until I met his eyes to continue. “Walk me out, please.”

  I bit my lip as I followed him out the office door, knowing my attitude had been less than professional. At least he would chastise me in private.

  We walked in silence down the ramp toward the entrance. The club didn’t open for another hour and the place was empty except for a few employees preparing for the night.

  When we neared the front door, Hudson pulled me into the coat-check room. I squealed in surprise.

  “Alayna,” Hudson growled, pressing me against the wall with his body, pinning my hands to my sides. His nose traveled along my jaw. “You were brilliant, do you know that?”

  “No.” My voice squeaked, his unexpected change of temperament throwing me for a loop. “I mean, I thought my ideas were good, but then you didn’t say anything…” I trailed off in a moan as he nipped at my earlobe.

  “I couldn’t. I was too fucking turned on.” He pushed his groin against my stomach, emphasizing his point and I fought off another moan. His warmth against me spread tingles throughout my body.

  “Then it was good?”

  “Oh, precious, do you really have to ask?” He pulled back to look at me. “You think smart—practical and yet outside the box.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “And it drives me fucking crazy.”

  I felt giddy. I generally hooked up with men who were attracted to my body, not my mind. It elated me. I was also now sure that Hudson’s attraction to me began at the graduate symposium at Stern. “So Hudson Pierce is into nerdy girls.”

  He alternated his words with hot kisses at my neck. “I’m into you—when you’re nerdy, when you’re flustered, when you’re whimpering under my tongue.”

  Damn, Hudson knew how to hit my buttons—buttons I wasn’t even aware I had. I shivered under his kisses. I longed to touch him, to run my fingers through his hair, to pull his body closer to mine. But he still had my arms pinned so I had to settle with telling him with words. “I’m into you, too.”

  He crushed my mouth with his, letting go of my arms to let his hands wander under my dress. He grabbed my bare ass squeezing and caressing my tender skin as he
kissed me aggressively. My fingers flew to his face, and I cupped his cheeks as his tongue danced with mine.

  When he pulled away, we were both panting. His eyes gleamed mischievously. “During your presentation—did you picture me naked?”

  Always. I grinned. “I didn’t have enough to go on. I haven’t seen ya naked.”

  “I haven’t seen you naked and that doesn’t stop me from picturing.” He scanned my body momentarily and growled. As if he were picturing me naked that very second.

  His playful mood made me braver than I had been with him. “So when are we going to remedy all the seeing of naked bits?”

  Hudson rubbed his thumb along my cheek. “Ah, now she’s eager. After she’s sampled the goods.”

  “I was always eager. Now I’m sure.” I turned my mouth to nibble on his thumb and he raised a brow.

  “What time do you work tomorrow?”

  “Nine.”

  His eyes widened as my nibbles turned to sucking. “I’ll make sure I’m done with work by five,” he said hoarsely. “Come by the loft then. Take the main elevator to the penthouse. You’ll have to enter the code: Seven-three-two-three. Repeat it for me.”

  “Seven-three-two-three.”

  “Good. I’ll text it to you so you don’t forget. Five o’clock. Don’t eat. I’ll feed you.” He pulled his thumb from my mouth and gave me a swift kiss. “And I’ll feed on you.” He returned again for a deeper kiss.

  He sighed when he pushed away from me. “Tomorrow, precious.” He grabbed my hand and held it as long as he could while he walked away. Before he disappeared out of the coatroom he turned back. “Oh, and I assure you, bits is not an appropriate word for my naked parts.”

  I assumed that already from the outline in his pants.

  Less than an hour after Hudson left, Liesl stopped me as I passed the lower bar. “Laynie,” she said, nodding to a small bag on the counter. “Hot Stuff left that for you while you were pulling the cash drawers from the office.”

  I bit my lip. “Hot stuff? You mean Hudson?”

  “Yeah.” I had no idea what Hudson could have given me, and though I had been on my way to unlock the front doors and open the joint, I changed my direction and headed to the package.

  A folded paper was taped to the outside. In neat block print he had written: I can’t let you go without. I blushed as I peeked inside, suspecting I knew what I’d find. Sure enough, there were my panties—laundered and folded neatly. I didn’t even want to think about what member of his staff got the job of cleaning the under things of Hudson’s fuck buddies. But the fact he’d made it happen was kind of cute.

  “So what the fuck, Laynie?” Liesl said, and I quickly closed the bag.

  “It’s nothing. I left something when I was at his office earlier.” Internally I smacked myself. Next she’d question why I’d been in Hudson’s office.

  But that wasn’t what she asked. “You left your panties at Hudson’s office? Yeah, I looked. What did you expect from me?”

  I rubbed a hand over my face. Liesl would find out soon enough. She’d find out the fake story, anyway. This was the perfect opportunity to tell her I was dating the man.

  But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to share him yet. I wanted to live with the genuine a little longer before I started playing the pretend. “Liesl, I promise I’ll tell you. Just not tonight.”

  She breathed out an exaggerated puff of air. “Fine, whatever. But you better have juicy details when you’re ready to spill.”

  “Deal,” I said. I took the bag and its contents to the bathroom to put them on.

  After I did, I caught myself smiling in the mirror. Maybe I’d been wrong about Hudson. He obviously wasn’t the pompous asshole I thought he was. In fact, he was turning out to be a pretty decent guy.

  Damn it.

  Chapter Eight

  I woke up the next day with Hudson on the brain. Again. I’d never scheduled sex and knowing it was on the day’s agenda made my belly tight and my pussy throb. But with the constant replay in my head of words he’d said, moves he’d made—my panic flag began to rise. I wondered as I had many times in my life if I was doomed to live either obsessing about my relationships or obsessing whether or not I was obsessing over them.

  With three hours before I was set to meet Hudson at the loft, I had to address my anxiety. Otherwise I’d be too wound up by the time I saw him and I doubted even his magic charm could unwind me.

  I decided to take a jog and quickly regretted it. Midday runs were brutal in the summer, especially when I’d become used to running in the cool of the morning. Halfway through my planned course, I gave up and slowed to a walk. None of it helped ease my mind—the heat, the exercise—I still couldn’t stop wondering about Hudson, what he was doing and what he would do to me when I saw him.

  By coincidence or subconscious effort, I found myself wandering over to the Unity Church where my old Addicts Anonymous group met. I’d discovered it at the height of my obsessive disorder—a place where atypical addicts got together to discuss everything from video gaming addictions to obsessive shopping. I’d moved away from attending on a regular basis since I hadn’t had any attacks in several years, but maybe checking in now wouldn’t be a bad idea.

  I went inside and down to the basement meeting rooms, finding a session led by my favorite facilitator ending. I hung in the back until they’d finished, then made my way toward Lauren.

  “Well, there’s a sight I haven’t seen in a while,” Lauren said, throwing her arms around me in a friendly hug, her hair hitting me in dozens of long braids. “Should I be concerned to see you?”

  “I don’t know yet. Do you have any time to talk?”

  “A bit. Wanna grab a cup of coffee at the corner café?”

  “Yeah.”

  As we walked, I caught Lauren up on my graduation and the prospects of promotion at the club, as well as the blow Brian had dealt me with his retraction of financial support. Lauren had counseled me through many of my family issues and knew probably better than anyone about the intricacies of the relationship with my brother.

  “Will you be okay without the help from Brian?” Lauren asked when we were seated outside, each with an iced coffee. Her subtext said she was talking about more than the money. Stressful situations led to relapses in mental health disorders, and she wanted to know if I was stable enough to hold up.

  “Maybe,” I said with a sigh. “I think so. Brian hasn’t been much help with any of my crap except financially. And I’ve gotten the money worked out.”

  “You have? That’s great. I’m sensing a ‘but,’ though.”

  “But there’s a guy.”

  “Mm hmm.” She sat back, her arms crossed over her chest. “Go on.”

  I paused, not really sure how to explain my relationship with Hudson, wanting to give details and knowing I couldn’t. I tried to pinpoint exactly what concerned me and express it as simply as possible. “We work together. And I can’t stop thinking about him.”

  “Is it David?”

  Thinking about David now seemed odd. I’d mentioned David before in the group, when we’d started our occasional make-out sessions. Now he felt distant and in the past though he’d only put a hold on us two days before. “It’s someone else.”

  Lauren cocked her head. “What sort of thoughts are you having about him?”

  “Fantasies.” I lowered my face to hide my blush. “Sexual fantasies.”

  “What else?”

  “That’s it.”

  Lauren shook her head. “You’re not going to get me to say you’re having problems because you’re thinking kinky about a hot guy.”

  “But it’s all the time. I mean, I wake up thinking about him, I go to sleep thinking about him, I’m tending bar and I’m thinking about him.”

  “But no stalking or calling him at work or emailing him incessantly?”

  “No.”

  “Only sexual thoughts?”

  “No, I replay things he’s said to
me in my head. I wonder what he’s doing and thinking.”

  “Have you considered you might just like him?”

  I took a swallow of my coffee. Up until the night before I had spent a lot of time considering that I didn’t like Hudson. Except sexually. I always knew my female parts were drawn to him. But other than that, no, I hadn’t considered it. I couldn’t.

  “Lauren, I can’t like him,” I groaned. “We…there’s no chance with him.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. We’ve discussed it.”

  She looked at me curiously. I searched for something more I could give her. “He doesn’t do romance,” I conceded.

  “Lots of women get the hots for men that are unattainable. It’s natural. It doesn’t mean you’re falling backwards. Stay realistic about the situation. If you feel he’s consuming your thoughts to the point that it’s affecting your daily routine, then you need to seek some help.”

  “So would sleeping with him be a bad idea?” If she said yes, I didn’t know what I’d do. I didn’t think I could cancel on Hudson. I wanted him too badly.

  “Have you?”

  “Not yet.”

  Lauren looked at me sternly. “But you’re planning on it, right? Now, girl, sex with no intention of a relationship opens up a whole other host of problems that have nothing to do with addiction but certainly can add to it.”

  “Is it impossible to have meaningless sex?”

  “I’m sure it’s possible, I just don’t know very many people who get away with it. And I don’t mean to imply that you’re not strong enough to deal with it, but, honey, are you?”

  “It might get rid of the fantasies.”

  “Maybe. It also might make you latch on.”

  “Not to sound like a slut, Lauren, but I’ve had quite a few one-night flings in the last few years with no attachment issues.”

  “Then maybe you’ll be fine. But your one-night things work because you don’t see the guy every day after. You’ll still see this guy after, right?”

  My one-night flings worked because those guys were fuck and forget guys. Hudson, not-so-much. And I would be seeing him after. ”Occasionally.” Probably more than that. Truthfully, I didn’t have any idea how much our little scam would require me to see Hudson. The charade was set to start Sunday, though, and he’d been intent on keeping the sex separate so I imagined that we’d be having a one day affair and then would move on.