Complete Fixed: The Complete Fixed Series: Books 1-5 Page 9

  Lauren studied me carefully. After a few minutes she shrugged. “I can’t tell you what to do, Laynie. And I can’t tell you that sleeping with this guy or not sleeping with this guy will make any difference in whether you do or don’t fall into obsessive patterns. What I can do is be there for you and suggest that you come back to group for a while for some extra support.”

  Extra support was a good idea. Before we parted, I agreed to come to a weekly meeting. Then I hurried home to prepare for my evening because I had not agreed to cancel my sex date with Hudson.

  Again I agonized about my wardrobe choice for my night with Hudson, finally settling on a black sequined cowl neck shirt and sequined striped shorts. Jordan dropped me off in front of the Pierce Industries building a few minutes before five. By the time I’d entered the elevator code and ridden up to the penthouse, I was shaking in my strappy three-inch heeled sandals.

  It took at least one full minute before I could bring myself to knock on the loft door. Hudson opened it immediately, as if he waited just on the other side, but he had his cell phone to his ear. “Roger, I don’t want to hear that we lost this company because my staff wasn’t able to foresee the possibility of separation.” He held the receiver away from his mouth. “Come in,” he whispered to me. Then he returned to his call as he shut the door behind me.

  I couldn’t decide if his preoccupation with work made me more or less nervous, but I took the opportunity to check him out. He wore tailored black suit pants and a light gray dress shirt with several buttons open at the top, his tie hanging undone around his neck. I fixed on his exposed chest, picturing myself licking the patch of bare skin that I was seeing for the first time. God, if I was this enthralled by a few square inches, what would I do when he was naked?

  He returned my stare, his eyes intense and dilated with want. The heat I always felt in his presence turned on full force and the moments he stood there on the phone felt like agonizing hours.

  “Take care of it, Roger. I expect this to be resolved before I arrive on Monday.” He ended the phone call without saying goodbye, tossing his Blackberry onto the table beside the front door, his gaze never leaving mine.

  “Hi,” I whispered, unable to handle the acute silence.

  His lip curled slowly into a sexy grin.

  That was all it took. One smile and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I’d imagined the first move would be his, but it was me who moved to him, my mouth crashing against his.

  His surprise lasted only a millisecond before he responded in kind. His previous kisses had been deep and passionate, but this one held no restraint as he plunged his tongue into the recesses of my mouth with desperate hunger. I met his eagerness with equal fervor, licking into his mouth, swooping my tongue across his teeth.

  Without breaking our kiss, Hudson’s hands moved under my shirt to palm my breasts through my bra. I gasped at the wonderful tingles that shot through my body under his gentle squeezing. My own hands fumbled with his shirt buttons, images of me ripping the damn thing off filling my mind.

  Just as I’d completely opened his shirt, he pulled away, panting. “Jesus, Alayna. I want you so bad, I’m not behaving.”

  “Hudson,” I said, closing the distance he’d created. “If this is misbehaving, please don’t stop.” I slid his shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, then put my tongue on his chest and licked under his collarbone toward his nipple.

  He groaned. “At least let me take you to a bed. If you keep this up, I’m going to fuck you against the door.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the worst thing in the world,” I murmured, but I let him lead me toward the partitioned bedroom.

  “No, it doesn’t.” He stopped a few feet from the bed and pulled me into his arms. He nuzzled my neck as he said, “But I won’t be able to savor you properly and I’ll forever regret it.”

  He tugged the bottom of my shirt up and over my head then reached behind to undo the clasp of my lacey black demi-cup bra. When it fell off, releasing my tits from their C cup prison, I wanted nothing but to press my skin against his naked chest.

  But Hudson wanted to gaze, mesmerized. “I imagined you’d have beautiful breasts, Alayna. But I had no idea…” He broke off, his voice choked. He pushed me back until my legs met his bed and I had to sit. Kneeling in front of me, Hudson flicked one breast with his tongue, cupping it toward his mouth with his hand, his other hand wrapped around my back.

  With a growl, his mouth covered my nipple and sucked and tugged with pleasing pressure. I cried out at the jolt that accompanied his ardor, my cunt tightening. I clutched his hair as he feasted thoroughly, leaving me gasping and near orgasm before he turned the same attention to my other breast.

  When he’d finished, he kissed his way down my stomach. “You’re so responsive. I could spend all day sucking your gorgeous tits.” He pushed me back on to the bed. “But there’s so much of you to adore.”

  He gripped his fingers in the waistbands of my shorts and panties and pulled down. I arched my hips to help him. “My shoes,” I said when my bottoms reached my ankles.

  “I love them.” He maneuvered my clothing over my high-heels. “I want them digging into my back when you wrap your legs around me.”

  I quivered at his sensual instruction. Not a particular lover, I enjoyed the way he told me how things would be, trusting that his way would bring us both pleasure.

  “Lean on your elbows.” I did and he bent one leg up then the other, anchoring my heels on the edge of the bed, my thighs open. He sighed as he slid his hands up the inside of my legs. “You’re so fucking sexy like this. All spread out for me.” My sex clenched and he smiled, running his fingers down my slit. “You want me. Look how your pretty pussy throbs.”

  No one had ever talked to me like that—so raw and crude. It was incredibly hot and savage and combined with the repeated tease of his fingers brushing across my pulsing bud, it wouldn’t take much to bring me to convulsions. As soon as his tongue replaced his fingers, grazing me with velvet licks, I unraveled, throwing my head back to let out a ragged cry.

  “Again,” he demanded gruffly, plunging three fingers deep inside me. My hands curled into the bedspread, not sure I could take another, wanting even more than his fingers. He stroked me, rubbing the inside of my walls as he returned his mouth to suck on my clit. When I’d reached the brink of climax again, shuddering under the building tension, he stretched his other hand up to my breast and tugged at my nipple with his fingers. I came violently, thrashing against the bed, my sex rippling around his digits.

  As I lay shaking, I was vaguely aware of Hudson removing his clothing. I heard the drawer of the nightstand open and close and the rip of a condom foil. He shifted me backward on the bed, giving himself space to crawl over me. Then he settled between my legs, his hot staff pressing at my quivering entrance.

  “You’re ready for me,” he said, leaning his weight on his forearms. He aligned his erection with my opening and entered me partway. “Jesus, Alayna,” he hissed. “You feel so goddamn good.”

  I gasped as he invaded me. He was so big. Not sure if he would fit, I tensed, knowing that I had to relax if I had any hope of accommodating him. He adjusted my leg and that’s what I needed. I opened to him and he sunk deeper, nestling in my tight channel.

  I couldn’t remember ever having felt so completely filled, not only because of his girth, but because of the way his eyes pierced mine as he stretched and moved within me. He circled his hips nudging his tip forward. “So good.”

  He pulled out slowly, almost the entire length of his cock, and I bemoaned the emptiness left behind. Then he flexed his hips and rammed inside me with a fierce stroke.

  I cried out and he echoed with a low grumble of desire. He pressed his chest against me and captured my mouth, kissing me roughly with my taste on his lips as he pounded into me.

  Even though he’d already taken care of me—twice—I was desperate for him to bring me to another orgasm. I rocked agains
t him, meeting each grinding pulse of his hips, moaning and panting as I took each one of his blunt drives.

  “Wrap your legs around me,” Hudson grunted as he continued his assault.

  I obeyed, having forgotten his earlier wish for me to do so. My heels hit against the back of his thighs, digging into him as he moved in and out of me, adding an additional level of eroticism. Lifting my legs also opened me further, and his cock bore deeper into me, hitting a spot within that ignited at each stroke.

  My orgasm built from there, my body tightening and clenching and contracting around Hudson’s pummeling thrusts. “I’m going to come,” I groaned, already trembling.

  “Yes,” Hudson cried. “Yes, come, Alayna.” My climax crashed through me, brought to a head by his coaxing. Seconds later, his own body tensed and jerked, releasing into me long and hard, my name spilling from his lips.

  He fell onto my quaking body, our chests rising and falling in tandem. His head buried into the crook of my neck as I pulled my fingers through his sweat-dampened hair.

  “I knew sex with you would be like that,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “Powerful and intense and fucking incredible. I knew it.”

  I swallowed, forcing down any emotion that threatened to show itself except for satiation. “Me, too.”

  Chapter Nine

  I must have dozed. When I woke, Hudson stood over me, pulling a comforter over my naked body.

  “Sleep, precious,” he said as I struggled to sit up. He’d put on a pair of sweats, but he still smelled like sex. My belly tightened in response to his scent. Would my lust for Hudson never be satisfied?

  He brushed a kiss on my forehead. “I need to order dinner. Chinese okay?”

  I stretched. “Sounds delicious.”

  “I’ll call it in.”

  I watched his gorgeous backside as he left the bedroom, luxuriating in what was left of my post-sex high. God, I felt good. I hadn’t been fucked like that in…well, ever. The care and attention Hudson delivered as a lover left little to be desired. Of course, that made me want him. Again.

  I tugged the comforter tighter around me, an uneasy feeling creeping over me. I tried to dissect its source. The fact was I felt comfortable—too comfortable. My number one rule in avoiding unhealthy attachments was to avoid attachments in general. Getting comfortable was too close to attached. And there was no way I could get attached to Hudson.

  A tenuous ball of anxiety began forming in my belly. I could stay through dinner, I decided, but I needed to be dressed and sitting at a table. And then, after the night was over, Hudson and I had to keep our relationship to business only.

  Throwing off the blanket, I began to gather my clothes. I found my panties and slipped them on then reached for my bra.

  “You’re getting dressed?”

  I jumped. Hudson was standing in the doorway, watching me, carrying his shirt and tie that he’d—um, we’d—discarded earlier in the main room. Suddenly feeling awkward at my near nakedness, I crossed my arms over my chest.

  He tossed his clothes on top of the laundry basket then crossed his own arms. Hudson didn’t appear to be hiding as I was, but looked like he meant to scold me. He raised a brow. “Are you in a hurry to leave?”

  I shivered. His gaze and my lack of clothing made it hard to remember why I’d wanted to go. I looked away. He probably wanted me gone soon anyway, having already gotten what he wanted. We didn’t have to pretend otherwise. “Guys don’t usually want me to hang around after sex.”

  “That statement brings up so many issues for discussion that I don’t know where to begin.” He stepped toward me. “What is wrong with men to not…?” He shook his head. “Alayna, please don’t group me with other guys you know. I’d like to think I’m not like most of them. And I don’t want to know or think about you having sex with other men. I don’t share.”

  Not meeting his eye, I picked up my shorts from the floor, ignoring the thrill that ran up my spine from his suggestion of possessiveness. “That sounds awfully relationshippy to me. I thought you didn’t do relationships.”

  “I don’t do romantic relationships. Sexual relationships are another thing entirely. Why are you getting ready to leave?”

  Avoiding his question, I dove for my shirt at the foot of the bed, but Hudson beat me to it. “Stop,” he said, holding my shirt out of my reach. He put his finger under my chin so that I would look him in the eye. His brow creased in confusion and his tone held sincerity. “I want you to stay. And, if you are so inclined, I’d prefer that you not be dressed.”

  I wanted to melt under his invitation, but I refused to be affected. “You’re dressed,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest again, sounding like a pouty child. The knot of anxiety was tightening, and I was grabbing at anything I could to try to stand my ground.

  “As soon as the food’s here, I’ll be happy to lose the clothing. Would that make you feel better?”

  “Yes.” But that was my hormones talking. My hormones wanted him naked. And hard. And slippery with sweat.

  But my brain wasn’t sure it was a good idea. “I don’t know,” I corrected.

  Still holding my chin, he brushed my cheek with his other hand. “What’s going on inside your head, precious? Are you going to run off every time we have sex?”

  He wanted to have sex with me again. My girl parts clenched at the thought. But, as my arousal piqued, so did the terror throbbing in my veins. Usually sex ended any interest I had in a guy. Except for before—when nothing ended my interest in a guy and I obsessed about them endlessly. And now—when every part of my body screamed with the need to have more of the man in front of me. Oh, fucking god, was I falling into old patterns?

  I turned away. “I hadn’t really thought this would be more than a one-time thing, Hudson.”

  He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. “Alayna.” He searched my eyes, looking for an answer I knew he wouldn’t find because I didn’t have the answers myself. “If you don’t want to have sex with me again, you need to tell me.”

  “I do!” His hands on me, and his piercing eyes elicited the truth from my lips. “I do,” I said again softly. I threw my arms around him and pressed my face against his chest, nuzzling his hard pecs. He returned my embrace. So warm. He felt so warm and safe and strong. Like he could shield me from whatever scared me. Like the reality of him—the reality of what he was to me—might be enough to keep me from needing more.

  “What is it?” His voice was light. He stroked my hair, and my panic lowered half a notch. “Tell me.”

  Tears threatened and I was grateful he couldn’t see my face. Was I doomed to live the rest of my life afraid of becoming close to people? To men? “I’m not good at relationships. Of any sort. I have…issues.” What the fuck was I doing? Casual sex meant no sharing of inner secrets. But it felt good to say it.

  “Like what?” Hudson’s hands tangled in my hair, soothing me. “Does this have anything to do with that restraining order?”

  The floor dropped from underneath me. I couldn’t move. “You know about that?” No one knew about that. At least, very few people. Brian, my support group, Liesl had heard bits and pieces. But I would never have told Hudson. I broke free of his arms and fell onto the bed, burying my face in the blankets. “Oh, god, I’m so embarrassed!”

  He laughed and lay on the bed next to me, his head propped on his elbow near mine. He rubbed his hand across my backside, massaging my tense muscles. It felt so good that, had I not been dying of humiliation, I’m sure I would have moaned.

  When he spoke, his voice was low and at my ear. “I know intimate things about you, precious—the way you look and the sounds you make when you’re about to come—and you’re concerned about this?”

  I groaned into the bed, half from misery and half from the pleasure I felt from his fingers on my back. I turned my head so he could hear me talk, but away from him so I wouldn’t have to see his face. “It was a big deal. The biggest deal. Like my biggest secret. I thought
my brother had buried it.” I rose up on my elbow and turned to eye him. “And are you saying I should be embarrassed about how I look and sound when…you know?”

  “I needed to know anything that might come up about my pretend girlfriend. It wasn’t necessarily easy to find, but not incredibly hard. It’s been buried now.” He cupped my cheek, his eyes growing dark. “And never, never be ashamed of how you look or sound at any time, especially when you’re about to come.” He circled his nose around mine. “I’m honored to be acquainted with you in that way.”

  “I’m mortified.” I let my head fall back on the bed, but stayed facing him. “About the restraining order, I mean. I don’t know how to react to the other.”

  “Why?”

  He ran his hand across my face and through my hair, each stroke setting off an electric charge that sparked in my core. It relaxed me and comforted me and made me feel like Jello. He could have asked me anything right then and I’d have surrendered. “Because it makes me feel all weird and tingly. And turned on.”

  “Fantastic.” He grinned. “But I meant, why are you mortified?”

  “Oh.” I flushed. What I’d said in error was actually less embarrassing than what he had really asked. But since he was still stroking me with that magic hand of his that had more power than Chinese water torture, I answered him that, too. “Because it’s evidence of my crazy. You know, when I said I love too much? The restraining order is part of that, and I like to pretend it never happened.”

  “Then it never did.” He kissed my nose. “We’ve all done insane things in the past. I’d never hold it against you.” He stopped stroking my hair, and looked somewhere beyond me. “Just another reason romantic love holds no interest for me. People get crazy with it.”